How fast can you push a tub?
Now for anyone who knows what “pushing a tub” means, I have a question for you. My team leader today told me, and several other times while I was working logistics, that I need to strive to get a tub out every 15 minutes. Now, anyone with experience with this may know that sounds near physically impossible. It takes me about 15 minutes just to cut open the boxes and sort them. Question: 15...
nowallowedtodoanything-deactiva asked: Well it's all good, I as well work at a Target and still going strong for over a year and a half. What do you do at yours?
nowallowedtodoanything-deactiva asked: Hi, you still working at Target?
Apologies for not posting much lately, I’m currently on vacation! I’ll return to work in a couple weeks with more stories, I’m sure.
How's My Hat?
I work in Softlines and when I was in the fitting room one day, I had a guest come up to me, switching between headwear, asking, “what do you think of this hat?” It was a PLAIN BLACK CAP so I responded, “um, it’s a hat…” to which he scoffed at and walked away, only to return not too long after to wait for his wife and to remind me that he finally settled on the...
Cropped tank top.
Yesterday, a man with tanned skin that looked like leather, a bald patch and very wild hair, came in wearing short shorts and a cropped tank top, exposing his very hairy beer belly. Needless to say, every employee had to talk to him.
As I was walking out of the store after collecting my paycheck, the TPS (security) was driving a motorized cart back inside. She joked about how people comment on her driving it around. “They usually ask me if this is my patrol car.” Not even 5 minutes after she said that and I was walking along side her, two older ladies came up laughing. “Hey! Is that your patrol...
Cabin in the woods.
Coworker: We should hang out after work.
Me: Agreed. Cabin in the woods at 11?
Coworker: Which one? *5 minutes later* Oh! You meant the movie.
Me: No, I was just inviting you to a cabin in the woods. No big deal.
Coworker: Hey, I don't know what you're into...
Me: But you asked WHICH ONE?!
Coworker: I found a bag from another store that had a pair of underwear in it. They apparently just bought it and set it down and forgot it.
Me: Imagine that conversation when she gets home... *in a valley-girl accent* Oh my god, Becky. I totally think I left my underwear at Target.
Coworker: Oh god, Melissa. No. Oh my god Melissa tell me you didn't.
Me: Becky, oh my god, I totally did.
Hi, can I help you get out of my life?
Today while working in A-block (which I’m not sure if all Target’s have the same layout, but I’m assuming all Target’s have an A-block which is pure hell. HBA and baby food and all of the snack shelves) I had just finished zoning an aisle of snacks, which had a ton of small shelves which are always very difficult to get to and pull things forward. A mom and her two little...
howlinheart asked: At the Target I work at, we've had people poop in the fitting rooms a few times. We've had people have sex in the family fitting room. We had this lady throw up in a cart and leave it and then most recently we had a lady using a smart cart and peed while using it and brought it to us and said we needed to clean it. So gross.
i’ve worked at target for three years. fitting room specialist. softlines badass. you know. any ways. one day i go and check thru the fitting rooms before i leave. i smell something kinda funky. upon further investigation, i found a bad of shit! literally. a. bag. of. human. feces. i died. called every team lead and TPS i could think of. didn’t even know what to do with myself. ...
Guest: Hi! Do you carry women's razors?
Me: Yes ma'am! It's directly in front of you... you're standing right by them.
Guest: You feel a little warm... is it because you have a cold or is it because I'm cold?
Guest 2 (little kid): It's probably because I'm picking my nose.
Guest 1: Do they have Buzz?
Guest 2: Yeah... oh, look, Woody. He's pretty cheap. Hey, honey. Do you want a cheap Woody?
Guest 1: Don't talk about your cheap Woody's in public, dear.
One of my good friends works as a TPS, which, for you non-Target workers, is basically a security guard. There was a guy lingering in electronics looking at iPads for over 45 minutes, so my friend approached me saying, “Let’s keep an eye on this guy. How about you go that way, and I’ll go this way.” So, in electronics, we were on both sides of the electronics boat with...
Co worker: I have a question...
C: *looking at sales paper* where do I find these?
C: Okay, what about this?
C: And this?
Me: You're not really looking for these things, are you...
C: I totally am.
Me: You're a liar.
C: Yeah... but I'm a good liar.
Me: NOT REALLY IF I JUST CALLED YOU ON IT, BRO!
Co worker: I love food so much. But to cut back on calories I've been eating those baby puff foods.
Me: Wait, what? The little packages of baby food that are like cheeto puffs but... other flavors?
Co worker: Yeah. I'm 36 and I eat baby food. It's not bad, actually... and really low in calories!
New girl: So, how do you guys like working here?
Co worker -looks at me-: Well... there's a lot of teenagers that come in here. And also a lot of other weird workers here... we like to fuck with them as much as possible.
Me: Yup. Pretty much.
Callin' da popo.
3 boys got jumped in the Target parking lot tonight by 4 other boys we had kicked out earlier for causing disruptions. We had to call the police and temporarily detain most of the boys and call their parents, contacts etc. The 3 boys said they get targeted by these same kids every week. I don’t know the full story… but it was the exciting point of the night.
lizbanks asked: lol, oh tell me about it. I would MUCH rather work hardlines, but I'm a brand team member for softlines and we hardly have any softlines people as it is because our store won't hire anyone for some reason, so they're not gonna let me leave it.
Display furniture: Not for sitting?!
A guy came into the store recently and sat on our display furniture. Not only was he just chillin’ there on a couch, but he was reading a book. The awkward part was, as I was zoning the aisles and would go from aisle to aisle, as I would turn the corner he would look up from his book.
lizbanks asked: I also love this blog! I've been a softlines team member for about a year now, and I relate to so much of your posts. lol!
athousandthreads asked: Hi. Can I just say I love this blog? I've been working at Target for 2 years now and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who has insane stories from work. (but main are mostly due to the fact I work flow shift and we're weird people :D)
Guest: Um... hi. Do you work here?
Me: Um. No. I like to wear a Target uniform and straighten their shelves and whatnot while I'm here...
While talking about trophy hunters
K: Well, I'm going to kill and stuff humans and see how they like it.
Coworker walks in the middle of this converastion
Anonymous asked: I dont know if you work front lanes or not, but when ever you ring up land o lakes butter it shows up as "lol butter." jussayin,
Jousting, Star Wars style, anyone?
Tonight at work, after closing, when all the lights are out an there’s no guests in sight. While working on a cart of reshop (non-Target workers, this just means a cart full of items we have to restock onto the shelves that got misplaced) my “best work friend” and I had light saber in each of our carts. So, naturally, we light them up and begin a cart-joust with light sabers. ...
Couple arguing in the aisles.
Girl: Mark, I'm thirsty. Can we get some grape juice? Mark. Hey, Mark? Can you get me some grape juice? I'm kinda thirsty... Hey, Mark. Will you get me some grape juice? Mark...
Guy (turning quickly towards her): FUCK YOUR GRAPE JUICE!
A group of faceless men came into the store today.
Another guy was filming them. I’m assuming they were trying to get a funny video out of it… (like I would have done) But when I looked up, they scared me half to death. Unintentionally, they apologized. They got kicked out of the store however for unintentionally disturbing other guests. Nonetheless, it was still pretty funny.
There was a mysterious spill in one of the aisles...
Co-worker 1: What the fuck is this?
Me: What? What the FUCK is this?
Co-worker 2: Hey guys, whoa! What the fuck is that?
Co-worker 1: Right? No one knows what this is.
Me: No, seriously. You guys. What the hell is this.
Co-worker 1: POISON?
Co-worker 2 grabs co-worker 3
Co-worker 3: Hey gu-, WHOA, WHAT IS THAT?
Me: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOU GUYS?!
We never figured out what it was, but it was black, and trailed down several aisles, and took us 15 minutes to clean up.
A couple came to my register,
the guy had tattoos all over his face. Then their total was $17.94. They paid…in ALL. CHANGE.
Disclaimer: I have blue hair.
Guest: I love your hair!
Me: Oh, thank you!
*10 minutes later, as he's leaving*
Guest: Goodbye, sweetie pie.
Me: ..... uh, bye.
Co-worker: Oh! You knew him?
Me: No, I didn't... and that's the scary part.
Remember my last post about the guy with the...
Well, he found me on Facebook. Then he gave me his number and asked me out to dinner.
Guest: Do you work only in electronics?
Me: No, I work all over. Can I help you find something?
Guest: Well I need mustache wax. To like... take my mustache off easier. I've been told I look like a pedophile. Jokingly, of course. Do I look like a pedophile?
Me: Sort of, yes.
I was dusting, but the duster head kept falling...
Leader 1 (female): Well, I can't seem to get this to stay on.
Leader 2 (male): I'll just shove it in the hole and keep it in there.
L1: I don't think that's going to work. The hole is too small and the thing is too big.
Guest: Excuse me, could you scan this and tell me how much it is?
Me: Sure... hmm. It's coming up at...$0? It's saying it's...free? That can't be right.
Guest: Hmm. I'm sure it's not free.
Me: I don't think it is either. It was on a clearance shelf so it may have been mispriced. Just go to guest services and maybe they can help you out better than I can.
Guest: I will!
Me: Let's hope it's free!
Guest: YES, LET'S HOPE SO!
Guest: I'm going to buy these giftcards... with a giftcard. INCEPTION!
A man came to my register today.
The only items he purchased were a box a condoms, lube, and electrical tape.
While straightening a shelf, I heard a loud crash....
Her: Oh no! I dropped Jesus! I'm going to hell.
Name tag conversation.
- looking for my name tag, only to find that it's still missing -
C: Still haven't found your name tag huh?
Me: Nope, still no sign of it.
C: Reach in there and grab a random one. BE WHOEVER YOU WANT TO BE!
Me: THANKS! I WILL!
The tale of the lost nametag.
A few weeks after I started working at Target, I got my first name tag. It was wonderful. I did what I thought we were supposed to do. Wear it during our shift, and put it back in the name-tag basket after it’s over. Well, about a month after I started working there, my name tag went missing. It was missing for maybe 2 weeks, so I had to wear the sticky paper “new team member”...